Decompressing

As I mentioned a few posts ago, my previous employer was defunded in the recent Commonwealth budget meaning that I, like all my colleagues, lost my job. I was however fortunate to be immediately offered some casual work which I have been busy with the last month.

I'm only doing 20 hours a week. That means on my work days I get in later and leave earlier than I have in a very long time and I have two days not working each week. When I started this process I was so excited about those two free days and all the things I could do on them but have increasingly found myself becoming frustrated. Somehow my two free days were packed with things and yet I don't seem to be achieving anything!

I have lists of things to do, but not one item has been completely ticked off. Bits have been done, things have been achieved, just not everything I wanted to and I've also struggled for the focus to power through my lists the way I usually do. I just haven't been able get into a rhythm, into a comfortable mode of operating and I've been frustrating myself with my own distractability.

It was really only today that I figured out what was going on. I'm decompressing. The last few months (and years) have been so busy, so crazy, so action packed that what I'm really doing is slowly making my way back to the surface. Back to an equilibrium. Readying myself to be able to launch forward with that verve and enthusiasm that everyone knows so well.

This realisation has reminded me why it is so important to be mindful - aware of the affect the world around us is having. So I still have my lists, but I'm going to focus a little more on taking some time out for tea and cake than worrying that I haven't got around to vacuuming out the heating ducts or doing my tax return. And it will mean that when I do go back to full time work I will be able to power in with all my focus and enthusiasm refreshed and ready to go.

How are you feeling today? Things under control or do you need a bit of decompression like me?