Mother's Day

So today is Mother's Day.  A day for spoiling our mothers.  My sister and I will be making brunch for our Mum but no details yet because if there is one person in the whole world who I know will read this blog it is my Mum - aka my most loyal follower.

I've been blessed with a super fantastic mother.  We are very close, speak pretty much every day, see each other at least once a week.  Next week she is going to a morning tea called "Aspire to Inspire" where everyone is meant to tell a story of their life to inspire others.  Mum is going to talk about her Dad (who was amazing) because she didn't think she was very inspirational.  Well I disagree, Mum is absolutely an inspiration to me in so many ways.

So Mum, here are a few ways that you inspire me every day.

Mum puts family above everything. Lots of people say that family is the most important thing in their life.  For my Mum that statement is an understatement, our family really is the most important thing in the world to her and she is its centre.  She is the star that we all revolve around.  I don't have the words to describe how Mum makes this family just work.

Mum is exceptionally kind and caring.  She has a whole host of people who she checks in on and helps in any way she can.  She has spent countless hours doing all sorts of things, amazing things like sitting with people in hospital, running errands, talking on the phone.  I doubt she realises just how important those phone calls, morning teas and chats are to those people but there are very few people who go out of their way for others like my Mum does.

Mum is a volunteer.  For my whole life Mum has been volunteering at one thing or another.  These days she volunteers as a diversional therapist at a nursing home.  Nursing homes are the kind of places most of us avoid.  But Mum heads over, at least once a week to do a cooking demonstration giving the residents a real highlight of their week plus something much more delicious than normal to eat.

There are so many other things I could say, but maybe I can sum it up like this. Mum, you taught me about family and love.  You taught me to be kind, to care and to give of myself.  You taught me that money is a means to an end not an end in itself.  You taught me to cook, to draw, to be self-sufficient. You taught me to be a good friend, a good daughter and I hope one day I can be as good a mother as you have and always will be.

Happy Mother's Day.

Spring has sprung and love is in the air

The first day of spring - it is amazing how flipping over a page of the calendar can be so very exciting.  How it can bring a smile to your face as warm as the gorgeous spring sunshine.  In reality the season of spring has been here for a couple of weeks now, but there is something about the first of September that just makes the world a little bit brighter.

The first of September is a significant day in my family not just because it heralds blossom, sunshine and the promise of summer, but because it is my parents' wedding anniversary.  Yes those two gorgeous people at the top are my parents on their wedding day.  The rather romantic date had more to do with the fact that it was the first Saturday of the school holidays (Mum was a teacher) than the change of season, but the symbolicness wasn't lost on anyone.

Do you remember the 90's sit com "Mad About You"?  The very last episode was told from their daughter's perspective about how her parents had the perfect relationship.  Perfect not in that it was all roses and stardust, in fact there were fights and silences and hard times.  It was perfect in that no matter what happened, what challenges life threw up, through the good times and the bad times they got through it all together.  That they were stronger as a unit, each was part of the other.  My parents are just like that.  The past decade or so has been a rollercoaster.  Mum and Dad have had amazing challenges, it has been tough.  But you know, I look at them and I see that couple in the picture, still smiling full of love even if there is a bit more experience behind it.  I often wonder if I have the strength that would enable me to survive what they have and I hope that I can live up to the amazing example of a real life together that they have set.

I guess most people celebrate their wedding anniversary quietly as a couple, but being my family, no celebration is really complete without the whole crew in tow.  Add in that Thursday is family dinner night and there really seemed to be no option other than for us to all celebrate together.  So tonight, us kids are taking Mum and Dad out to a rather gorgeous restaurant.  It will be a fitting way to celebrate what is and will always be a very special date.

I know this picture is a little bury but I had to include it to show the magnificence of my Dad's maroon suit - they had wedding cars to match.  And the bridesmaids wore avocado (as in the colour not the fruit).  Ahh the beauty of a wedding in the 70's.

5 most important things my parents taught me

Another list as inspired by Kate Takes 5's weekly listography.  As you will know, my family is very important to me and of course at the centre are my parents.  It has been extremely hard narrowing down the multitude of things they have taught me to just 5, but I think these are pretty key.

(Mum I have to say, I really considered putting here teaching me to ride a bike because I think you deserve some serious kudos for running up and down the street holding me upright for so long, but I thought these were more significant).

How to cook
Food is big in our family.  We love experimenting, eating, talking about it.  In fact my father coined the now famous family phrase "if there isn't someone talking about, preparing or eating food in the room you know you are alone".  Our gatherings center on food and I have so many special memories that relate to it.

Mum primarily taught me to cook, although Dad has been instrumental along the way, just read about him teaching me to cook apple turnovers to understand.  I spent countless happy hours sitting at the kitchen bench helping, or chatting or watching.  As a result I'm fully equipped to keep myself nourished but more importantly I can feed others and I love the joy it brings when I produce something yummy.

Manners
I don't think I even noticed being taught manners, it was just a part of life, but as I've grown older, boy have I noticed how many people don't know the common courtesies or how to behave in a particular situation and even more I've noticed how uncomfortable it makes people.  Over the years I've had various friends quietly quiz me about how to deal with the array of cutlery, or how they should respond to a social situation.  They have always been extremely embarrassed to be asking, but if no one has taught you, how are you supposed to know what to do?

As well as all the usual table manners, saying please and thankyou as a matter of course and the like, Mum also taught us to be thank you note writers.  The thank you note seems to be a dying art, but I love it and after all, it is another excuse to buy nice stationery!

Money is to be enjoyed not hoarded
We were never a rich family.  We were definitely comfortable, with a lovely home, private school education and plenty of treats, but compared to a lot of the girls at my school, Mum and Dad didn't have the same kind of disposable income.

But what they did have they spent well and they taught me that living a comfortable, enjoyable life is much better than dying with a large bank account.  I've learnt how to budget, but also how to spend.  How to make priorities and that a life full of experience is better than a bank account full of money.  Looking at that gorgeous painting on the wall certainly gives me a lot more joy than looking at a balance on a screen and living in Canberra, having a well heated home is much better than shivering all the way to the bank.

I won't be leaving a fortune behind when I go, but I will have lived a life where I enjoyed what I earned!

Don't have an entire meal of champagne and fairy bread
This was just one of many truisims my parents taught me particularly during my teenage years.  Most of these lessons follow the same pattern, a story along the lines of - don't do X, because when I did it such and such happened.

Some of them are brilliantly funny stories but I think the thing that made these lessons so powerful was that they were real.  It wasn't my parents trying to stop me having fun, they were letting me know real consequences.  My parents have never pretended to be saints with no lives, rather they have let us into the complexity of their experiences so that we could learn from them and in doing so, they helped us make our own decisions with a real understanding of the consequences. 

Oh and yes Mum really did wipe herself out on champagne and fairy bread at my Aunt's birthday party and her description of multicoloured vomit is both disgusting and memorable. 

That they will love me no matter what
Growing up surrounded by truly unconditional love is an amazing thing.  The confidence and security it gives you I think is pretty much unparallelled.  There was never a question about how much my sister and I were loved and even more than that, I always knew there was nothing so bad that I couldn't tell my parents and that they wouldn't still love me.


So thanks Mum and Dad, you have given me the strength and skills to cope with whatever life throws at me and more importantly thanks for always being there when life is doing its best to test that!

Mother's Day

I've said it before and I will no doubt say it again and again - I have the best Mum.

Mother's day is always a tad challenging.  In reality we know that Mum will love whatever we do and whatever we get her.  But every year my sister and I want to come up with something even better than the year before.  There are some elements that have to be included - the first being spending time together.  There is nothing more important to all of us than our family, so being together is the most important thing.

The next element is usually food.  We are all foodies, so good food is a must.

Finally a present.  Mum has long said she doesn't want "stuff:".  She has a house full of things, and doesn't need more.

This year I think we hit a winner.  The get together was brunch - food and family in one.  We included my brother-in-law's family because the more the merrier and had a wide array of breakfast delicacies from museli with rhubarb compote and a beautiful vanilla yogurt to the traditional cooked breakfast.  It was held at my sister's house so that the puppies could be involved too.

Family and food out of the way, it was on to the present.  Mum loves to read, so books were an obvious choice.  However her favourite book "Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett has just been made into a mini-series that isn't even available in Australia yet.  Thanks to the wonder of the internet, we were able to source it for her.

All in all it made for a lovely mother's day.

So Mum, I hope you enjoyed it, because we love you and you deserve it!

Happy Birthday Mum - part 2!

Today, of course, was Mum's birthday. Mum is the best person on earth to buy a present for, because she never expects to get one - so pretty much whatever you get her will get a great reaction.

We have been planning for ages as it is a significant birthday. Many ideas were canvassed, then Mum started to mention how much she would like an iPad (mind you just as a concept, she would never expect us to get her one) and the decision was made. The iPad and various accessories were purchased.

But then Dad came up with a brilliant twist. Mum had recently watched "Julie and Julia" and really loved it, so we got her Julia Child's books and gave them first. Mum unwrapped them and was thrilled. She was busily perusing them when we turned up with the "extra" present. The reaction was fantastic. I've been looking forward to it for weeks (and have on more than one occasion nearly slipped up when chatting with her) and the reaction was as good as we could have hoped for.

My sister, brother-in-law and I got together to make a lovely gourmet BBQ which we enjoyed with a glass or two of excellent wine.

It has been a lovely day.

Happy Birthday Mum!

Tomorrow is my Mum's birthday and I know she will read this blog on her birthday morning over breakfast, so Mum, this one is for you.

I have a super excellent Mum. I've written before how I'm lucky to have the world's best Mum and I really think I do. She is a wonderfully caring, loving, supportive Mum and she has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today.

Just recently someone commented to my Dad that I'm a chip off the old block, but I think it is fair to say that both my parents are intrinsically represented in me. This is not always easy - I have Dad's hoarding tendencies and Mum's clean ones, which means I'm a bit of a household bulimic, I hoard then purge at regular intervals!

But back to Mum, it is fair to say Mum has had a shit of a year. Really, there have been good moments but on the whole it has been pretty awful. But throughout it, through all the rough times, she has stayed that special, caring, loving person. The way she has handled this year is really inspirational to me and has made me love her even more than ever.

So Mum, I hope you enjoy the day we have lined up for you and that this marks the start of a year that will be wonderful - happy birthday.

The Eagles - Part Two

When I was a teenager, grunge ruled. Cool equated to baggy pants, flannelet shirts, loads of eyeliner. I was not cool. Grunge was not and would never be my world. It isn't that I don't appreciate it, it is just not what lifts my spirit ... which I guess was the point, but I was never a depressive teenager.

So faced with all that angst I just retreated 30 years and found the 60's and 70's. When rock was young, when melody and lyrics were as important as each other. The music was beautiful sometimes massively complex, sometimes deceptively simple. My CD player was filled with the Beatles (I prefer them to the Stones - feel free to engage me in discussion as to why), Creedence Clearwater Revival, the Animals, Herman's Hermits, Cat Stephens, The Doors, Daddy Cool, the list goes on. I can pretty much recite all 18 minutes of "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie, give me a movie soundtrack from the era and I will sing along. I was definitely a teenager in the wrong era.

Now there is only one problem with my music tastes, it doesn't really make for many live music opportunities, but last night I got to live the dream, I saw the EAGLES!!!

The Eagles have long been one of my favourites. Made up of enormous talents, the sum of their parts is so much greater. They manage to tread a line that could almost end up country but stays so cool and unique, you couldn't imagine anyone else quite pulling it off.

They have a truly amazing catalogue of songs and even played some of Don Henley's solo stuff, however the moment I was most waiting for (and it is a cliche, I do know) was the first notes of Hotel California. It is such an iconic song, it must be a difficult choice for them about where they put it in a set. Last night it was the third song and they began it with the long trumpet intro. It was unbelievably good live - I actually shed a tear it was that good, but also because for me that song is my special car song that I listen to with my Dad and it was phenomenal hearing it with him.

A friend of mine is a massive Eagles fan, so I rang her and held the phone up so she could hear it down the line. I think she was thrilled, but I couldn't hear her over the roar of the crowd. I was sorry that my phone battery was dying and I couldn't let her listen to the rest of the concert.

I went to the concert with Mum and Dad - it was my Mum's first rock concert! What an introduction to the concert scene. It is one concert I will never forget.

Afternoon Tea

I think there is something hugely indulgent and utterly enjoyable about those in-between meals that have been created simply for socialialising and enjoying food. Brunch, supper and of course, morning and afternoon tea. While formality can be imposed, I find people are generally more relaxed. You aren't eating to fulfill hunger, it is to enjoy tasty morsels and the company of others.

Afternoon tea comes with many traditions, the correctly brewed pot, scones - light and fluffy topped with lashings of jam and cream, finger sandwiches, cake cut into bite sized mouthfuls. They all contribute to an indulgently lovely way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Today I hosted an afternoon tea to thank those who had supported me through Frocktober. There were many tasty treats including a lovely cake from my Mum and gorgeous sandwiches and cupcakes from my friend N. We sat, chatted, enjoyed the food and were hugely entertained by N's 18 month old who demonstrated just how many blueberries a small boy can eat (the answer, is apparently all of them!)

It was such a lovely afternoon, what a brilliant way to round out a weekend.

Oh my, I've got a very full tummy

My Mum sure can cook. She can create a feast, there is no doubt about it and when it comes to a special occasion like a birthday, she goes all out.

Tonight was an early birthday dinner for my brother-in-law and that means the traditional birthday dinner - roast duck with dumplings and red cabbage. Is your mouth watering yet, let me describe it in a little more detail.

Mum has perfected the art of roasting a duck. She produces crisp skinned, succulent meat where the fat has melted away (but is reserved to fry potatoes in later) leaving just juicy, duck perfection. She takes the drippings and turns it into rich gravy which we pour over potato dumplings and red cabbage till they are infused with that ducky goodness.

It is the kind of meal where you end up picking up your duck bones to crew every last morsel off, where plates are scraped (and licked when no one is looking). It is a meal where you eat till you are full, then eat a bit more because it is just so good.

And when you think you may explode, the chocolate mousse arrives.

What a meal, thanks Mum it was brilliant.

As promised - a town full of daisies

Today is bright, sunny and gorgeous, a perfect day to admire the daisies!

I know they are weeds, but the fantastic recent rain we have had here has made them pop up all over the place and they are just beautiful. As you drive along there are whole sections of median strip bright yellow with their happy little faces.

On the weekend I went for a walk during which I passed a family with small children. Each child had a daisy chain crown. I spent years making them with my Mum and to this day, if for some reason I've sat down next to some, I feel compelled to make myself a daisy chain accessory.

They are such a gorgeous sign of spring and the warm weather that is on the way.

Dinner with Mum

Tonight I had an impromptu dinner with my Mum and it was a really lovely evening.

I have the best Mum in the world - and I'm not just saying it because I know she reads this blog (hi Mum!) but really because I just can't imagine a better one. We are very close, we talk at least once a day, have family dinner at least once a week and often do things together. But tonight's impromptu nature was particularly lovely.

Mum has been very busy helping a sick friend, so she asked me to feed the dog on my way home tonight. I ended up being a bit late and Mum got home a bit earlier than expected, so we sat down for a glass of wine and a chat. In the blink of an eye several hours had passed. We talk about life, the universe and everything. I know lots of people who fight with their parents, or can only get together in small doses, so to have a Mum who I can talk about everything with and with whom I really love to spend an evening is an absolute joy.

So thanks Mum, tonight was brilliant.