Happy New Year! Resolutions Anyone?

Happy New Year!  Have you made any new year's resolutions?  I normally don't, mainly because I tend to forget them pretty much as soon as the champagne has worn off, but this year I have made a resolution and it is to do with this blog.  You see after a few years of blogging about happiness some ideas have crystallised for me and so I'm going to start a semi-regular series of posts on what I think being happy means and how to achieve it.

However I'm not starting my resolution today, because I'm hoping that some of you have made the resolution that you want to learn to dance this year.  If you have, I suspect you may be feeling a little nervous, possibly you may believe some of the myths I used to believe.  Every year our dance class gets an influx early in the new year and more often than not people are there because they made a resolution to finally get around learning to dance.  After talking to many of these people over the years I know there were a bunch of reasons it took them so long, so here is the list I have found and hopefully it will give you insight into why you must follow through on that dance resolution.

Myth 1 : You have to go with a partner - I definitely thought this was the case, although I have no idea where I formed this impression.  I can categorically say it is not true and the vast majority of people do not come to dance classes with a partner.  If anything, coming with a partner can hamper you because if you only dance with them, you don't learn from all the other people, so if you do come with someone, make sure you still dance with as many different people as you can.

Myth 2 : Dance classes are really expensive - the average classes I've seen cost somewhere between $15 - $20.  Ok, this isn't cheap, but it also isn't a huge cost, most of us can find $15 or $20 a week for an activity.  Sometimes I do private classes which can cost around $80 for an hour, now that is getting expensive but I learn at a much faster pace and want to learn very technical things because I've been dancing for so long.  For me I find that valuable, but I had my first private class 7 years after I started dancing, so if you are starting out group classes are all you need.  Also keep an eye out on the discount websites, lots of dance schools have special introductory offers at this time of year.

Myth 3 : You have to be really coordinated and graceful - ha!  If that was true there is no way I would be dancing.  I was someone who can fall over her own feet.  It took time to get my balance etc but these days I do cut a reasonably graceful figure on the dance floor.  And I still fall over my own feet.

which kind of ties in with Myth 4 : You have to know how to dance -  Hmmm, yes, I somehow thought you already had to know how to dance at least a bit before you went to class.  Clearly I had not come to terms with the idea of learning.  Most people in the average beginner class have done no dancing before and definitely haven't done that style.  So don't worry, everyone is as clueless as you are.
 
Myth 5 : You need special shoes - unless you are learning tap dancing or ballet you are unlikely to need special shoes at your first class.  What you will need are shoes with a smooth, non-grippy sole and that strap firmly to your feet.  Crocs, sneakers and thongs are not good choices and yes I've seen people attempt to do a class in each of these.  For about the first 3 months I was learning I just wore a pair of leather sandals with a little heel.  It was only when I had decided I was addicted that I got proper dance shoes.  Same goes for clothes.  I still wear jeans or 3/4 pants and a t-shirt to most of my dance classes, special outfits are just for performances.

Myth 6 : Dance isn't real exercise - I always love it when they have athletes on "Dancing with the Stars" and they say how fit they have got.  A few years ago the ceroc teachers did an exercise where they wore pedometers in class and they managed to do the entire day's recommended steps in a single dance class.  It is hard work, I've never been as fit as I am now, and the only difference in my life is dance. 

Myth 7 : I'm too old to learn to dance - no, no, no, no, no.  There is no such thing as too old.  I've had classes with an age spread of 15 - 70.  The only thing I would recommend is that if you have any health issues you consider these when picking a dance style.  There are loads, from super fast paced - think Brazillian Samba, to much slower, try a belly dance or ballroom class.  If you want recommendations for a dance style, ask the comments below.

Myth 8 : Only cool people know how to dance - yup, I was convinced you had to be in the in crowd to know how to dance.  Learning to dance is cool, but we all have to learn.  I've seen people from 18-80 in classes.  Those who dress fashionably, those who really don't.  And then comes the day when you decide it is more comfortable to wear socks under your dance shoes because what you are wearing, how your hair is done etc doesn't matter - you are just there to dance.  That said personal hygiene is really, really important!

So have you made a resolution? And have I convinced you that dance isn't that scary and you should give it a go?

Dance Camp

I spent the weekend at Dance Camp.  Three days of dancing have left various parts of my body in pain.  I'm hideously sleep deprived after late night dance parties followed by early morning (vitally important) stretch sessions.  I have a giant pile of dirty dance clothes waiting to be washed.  But I'm utterly thrilled at having experienced it all and am completely inspired by just how brilliant the teachers were.

I could go on and on about how wonderful the weekend was, but here are a few of my favourite highlights:

• Dancing till I dropped. I can't remember the last time I danced so much in such a short period of time.
• Lazing in the sun.  It was sunny and warm all weekend and between classes I soaked up as much as I could.
• I spent all weekend in comfy track pants, t-shirts and wore socks with my open toe heels - and I didn't feel daggy.  It is the outfit of choice among dancers.
• The teachers were brilliant, funny and inspiring.  I feel so motivated, not only by the wonderful moves and techniques they taught but also to bring some of their tips into my own teaching.
• Spending time with my dancing friends, on the dance floor, lounging between classes, over dinner, in the car.  There were so many hilarious and irreverent conversations that we had all the time in the world for.

For many years I let the nervous anticipation that precedes any new activity limit my life.  Before heading to camp this weekend I certainly had the butterflies and doubts, but I powered through them and had a truly awesome time.  I think it really shows that as real as the fear of trying something new is, it is important not to let it control your life.  Getting out of your comfort zone every now and then is a really positive thing to do.  Most of the time when you work through the nerves you come away with new skills, new memories and a fantastic experience.

Have you powered through nerves and tried something new recently?

Busy, busy, busy

I've been so busy lately.  Work, planning our holiday, just general life stuff.  It can be so easy to lose yourself in being busy.  But if I've learnt anything over the last few years, it is that there are some things you just have to make time for, family, friends, self.  Stopping whatever is making me busy to spend time on these things is always so rewarding because it renews my spirit, gives me the strength to keep going.  When I don't stop I feel myself being slowly worn down and I end up less productive as a result.

Last weekend was a time out weekend.  Ok, so I did do some chores and other necessary life stuff, but I spent a good chunk of it catching up with friends, dancing and just vegging out.

S and I have not been dancing as much as usual.  We have been busy and sick and somehow got out of the routine.  But on Friday we headed out to test my new shoes and had a fantastic time.  I just adore dancing with him, it was an absolutely blissful few hours.

Then, two of my best friends and I managed to organise to get together in record time.  It usually takes us weeks to find a time when we are free, but we clearly all needed a few hours of girly chat, so we made Sunday morning work.  We gathered over delicious, enormous breakfasts to chat, share stories and wisdom, commiserate about the craziness of life and re-affirm our friendship.  I felt absolutely rejuvenated by our time together.  Those girls are worth their weight in gold.

In between S and I spent some quality time communing with the couch.  Curled up together on our not quite big enough couch, we caught up on movies, chatted and napped.  He brought me cups of tea and chocolate and rubbed my feet.  It was like a holiday for the soul.

This week is as busy as ever but somehow it doesn't feel as hard.  Just those few hours of time out have given me all the strength I need.  It really is that easy.

New Dance Shoes

My new dance shoes arrived today.  It is always so exciting to get new dance shoes.  Being a shoe lover, new shoes are exciting in themselves, however, dance shoes come with this whole promise of happy dancing times to come.

Dance shoes are a breed unto themselves.  The sparklier, the brighter, the better.  I would class this pair as reasonably restrained - they are glittery, but in a subdued colour.  They are shoes for class rather than shoes for performances.  My sister can never quite get this, if I ever show her shoes I'm considering to buy she always likes the ones that I think of as training shoes.  I guess the dance world just believes that more is more when it comes to anything sparkly.

My dance shoes get worn until they fall apart.  I have a car boot full of dance shoes in various states of disrepair.  They live in the boot because, well to be frank, dance shoes are invariably stinky.  They may look like sparkly heels but they get the workout of running shoes minus the socks.  And there are so many of them there because I find it very difficult to part with them.  Even if they are falling apart and no longer supportive in all the ways that is necessary I've spun, slid, ronded and stepped to hundreds, if not thousands of songs in them.  They have been to parties, been in performances, been sweated and usually bleed in.  I feel like they are little, stinky, tatty shoes of happiness given all the good times I've had whilst wearing them.  If anything embodies dance, it is the shoes.

So tonight I take home a new pair.  I will punch a hole in just the right place on the strap, test the flexibility and then bug S till he takes me dancing to " christen" them.  In time they will fade and become worn, but I will love them all the more for the process that got them there.

Dance, dance, dance

Kari yesterday asked me what style of dance I do and I realised that while I have mentioned how much I love dance I haven't really talked much about what kind of dance I do.

When I was a little girl I did ballet classes, followed by jazz ballet for a time.  But I was always too tall, too gawky and the enthusiasm I had was never really encouraged by the teachers who knew with my physical size I was never going to be a professional dancer.   I think it is so sad that they wouldn't encourage such enthusiasm.  Sure I was never going to be a ballerina, but if someone loves something you should always encourage them.

So from the age of about 8 or 9 I didn't dance.  In high school there were dance opportunities in things like Rock Eisteddfod, but I had built up a whole host of myths in my head about dance (see below) that meant I never gave it a go.

In 2003 (I think) I went to a Christmas party where the hostess prompted a conversation by saying to someone he should tell us about his dancing.  He told us about Ceroc (modern jive) and in doing so blew all the myths that I had built up in my head out of the water.  At that point in my life the majority of my friends had moved away, I was unfit, had a minimal social life and I needed a new direction.  The next February I dragged two of my girlfriends along to a class and fell in love.  I came home that first night and sat on my Mum's bed beaming.  My words to her were "I think I could be good at this".

A few years later, after much dancing and hard work I was asked to come on staff.  I've moved from a demonstrator, to a junior instructor, to a senior instructor.  It would be fantastic to go back in time and tell those snobby ballet instructors that these days I'm a dance teacher!

My interest in dance has grown and grown.  Over the years I've tried out a multitude of styles.  As well as teaching Ceroc, I do lessons in and dance argentine tango, salsa and rumba on a regular basis.  I know the basics of zouk lambada, waltz and cha cha.  I even did a fantastic term of burlesque dancing that was probably the hardest class I've ever done with one of the most inspirational teachers ever.

Dance has quite literally changed my life.  I'm fitter and healthier than ever.  I have the most remarkably wonderful, quirky, brilliant and supportive group of friends.  I've developed body confidence and much better posture.  It has given me a hobby that I love and that brings me joy every time I do it.  And, most importantly, it was through dance that I met S.

So as I said earlier, I had built up a list of myths about dance in my head that prevented me trying it out for years.  So that no one else has them, here is my list of Myths of Dance.

Myth 1 : You have to go with a partner - I have no idea where I formed this impression but I can categorically say it is not true and the vast majority of people do not come to dance classes with a partner.  If anything coming with a partner can hamper you because if you only dance with them, you don't learn from all the other people, so if you do come with someone, make sure you still dance with as many different people as you can.


Myth 2 : Dance classes are really expensive - the average classes I've seen cost somewhere between $15 - $20.  Ok, this isn't cheap, but it also isn't a huge cost, most of us can find $15 or $20 a week for an activity.  These days I do private classes which are $60, now that is getting expensive but they let me learn all the styles I want to and I learn at a much faster pace than in group classes because I've been dancing for so long.  For me I find that valuable, but I had my first private class 7 years after I started learning, so if you are starting out group classes are all you need.

Myth 3 : You have to be really coordinated and graceful - ha!  If that was true there is no way I would be dancing.  I was someone who can fall over her own feet.  It took time to get my balance etc but these days I do cut a reasonably graceful figure on the dance floor.  And I still fall over my own feet.

Myth 4 : Dance isn't real exercise - I always love it when they have athletes on "Dancing with the Stars" and they say how fit they have got.  A few years ago the ceroc teachers did an exercise where they wore pedometers in class and they managed to do the entire day's recommended steps in a single dance class.  It is hard work, I've never been as fit as I am now, and the only difference in my life is dance.

Myth 5 : Only cool people know how to dance - yup, I was convinced you had to be in the in crowd to know how to dance.  Learning to dance is cool, but we all have to learn.  I've seen people from 18-80 in classes.  Those who dress fashionably, those who really, really don't.  And then comes the day when you decide it is more comfortable to wear socks under your dance shoes because what you are wearing, how your hair is done etc doesn't matter - you are just there to dance.  That said personal hygiene is really, really important!

Is there any activity that you have put off only to later discover you love?  And do you have any questions about dance, feel free to ask away.

Busy times

Sorry about the break between posts but it 'tis the season to be busy, busy, busy!  Work is full on in the lead up to leave (yay!), there is the all important gift purchasing and other shopping needs plus my social life is as full as can be as everyone fits in their Christmas activities.  Sleep has become a precious commodity.

This weekend just gone had end of year parties for two of the dance schools I attend.  They were great fun, loads of dancing, not to mention having the chance to catch up with people who we haven't seen for quite some time.  S and I probably spent more time chatting than dancing, but it was just perfect for this time of year.

The party on Saturday was at 8pm and while it included finger food, some friends of mine and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to try the new Dumpling House at the ANU.  We were somewhat overdressed for the occasion, but the food was just delicious.  Given that we were about to go dancing, we limited ourselves to just a few baskets of dumplings, although having seen the extensive menu I'm keen to go back and try more.

We ended up eating the Shanghai fried beef dumplings, the fried pork dumplings, steamed prawn dumplings and steamed vegetarian dumplings.  The boys were a bit taken aback at ordering the vegetarian ones, but I think they ended up being everyone's favourite!  They were generous serves and while I'm sure we could have stuffed ourselves more, we were all happy with that selection and at $11 a person, it was good value too.  Dinner also came with complimentary tea.

We had a great catch up over dinner which was much needed as we haven't had much of a chance to see each other recently - as evidenced by the fact that they bought me a birthday present (my birthday was 2 months ago).  Lauren has a business doing high quality artificial flower wedding bouquets.  Her work is gorgeous and she made me this stunning posy which was just perfect for an antique green and gold vase that has been sitting in the cupboard, just waiting for something to be put in it.  That is right, all the flowers in these photos are artificial.

If you are looking for someone to do your flowers for a wedding, or you are just after a special and permanent flower arrangement for home or the office, check her out at http://www.acapitalaffair.com.au/ her work is beautiful.

Frocktober - day six

It is serious corporate wear today.  I haven't worn this dress since last summer and I had forgotten just how much I like it.  However it is my only dress with a high neckline so occasionally if I don't think about it as I sit down I throttle myself.

I did go dancing in my black and white pansy dress last night.  It has a great skirt for dancing, not too flared and all revealing which is nice.  However the straps didn't want to stay in place so a few times I think I flashed a bit of bra - luckily I was wearing a nice black and white one which matched the dress!  Oh well, such are the issues of dancing in dresses.

Last night was one of those nights which confirms what a magical activity dance really is.  A couple of my good friends had not had the best of days.  One had a day which can really only be described with a string of expletives.  But after a dance or two, they were all smiling and feeling remarkably better for it.  I think it is a combination of the exercise, music and friends - with maybe a little touch of indefinable pixie dust magic - that does it.  I certainly know that even on the nights where I have to pry myself away from the couch and drag myself in, I always have a great time.  Next time, however, I might just dance test my dress first!

Dancing in the dark

On Tuesday nights S and I do a salsa class.  After class there is a social dance / practice session where they put on the music, turn down the lights and put on the coloured disco lights so that it feels a bit like being in a salsa club.  It is good fun, a great chance to practice what we have just learned and have a proper dance but being a mid-week night we generally leave about halfway through.

The dance studio is on the second floor and due to the body heat inside, the windows are always fogged up.  The street is dimly lit and not exactly salubrious, a commercial area filled with car yards and low rent buildings.

As S and I stand in the carpark saying goodbye (a long process really only limited by the fact that it is freezing at night at the moment) we often look back up to the studio.  With the fogged up windows, the flashing coloured lights inside highlight silhouettes of the dancers and it looks amazing.  A bit like an 80's video clip. In the grimy setting it all looks mysterious and glamorous and the dark shapes of the people coming in and out are all the more interesting.

I like to think about how an outsider would imagine the inside from that view.  I think they would imagine it to be far more glamorous and less sweaty than it actually is.  And you know, even though I know what it is like inside, that almost hypnotic view from outside makes it just a little more glamorous for me too.

For the love of dance

The first of my top decisions was learning to dance.  I love it for a load of reasons, but I thought it would be interesting to ask my dance friends why they dance.  Here are some of the answers courtesy of Facebook:

Leonard - fitness, friends, fun. Dance for Life. :)

Tova - I started for rotator cuff rehabilitation! I have full range of motion now thank you, instead of my predicted 30% maximum. I stayed for the friendly people, the challenge and the chance to do some exercise indoors in winter!

Wendy - i got the music in me, i got the music in me, i got the music in meeee. Oh and it helps with my rusty hips. :-) i love dancing with my hubby too..so many reasons!

Lauren - Fun, friends, fitness and fabulous fashion! Lots of good 'f' words! 

Kylie - It got me out of my shell and talking to new people when I first moved to Canberra and didn't know anyone; after that it became an escape from the world, everything goes away when the music starts!! 

Mark - It gives me a reason to go out, meet people, talk to people and have fun with people. It forces me to relax from cogitating, and I get some moderate exercise as well!

Lee - It's my Zen time... I just live in the moment, feel the rhythm, the only things to think about is your connection (hopefully) and the music... Transendance! 

Shannon - First you learn ze dance, then you get ze women

Freya - The endorphins from a good dance and/or a fun dance take away the pain from the medical issues aggravated by my doing it :P  As Lee said, it's also a moving meditation, a moment where you forget about double-thinking everything and just enjoy said moment.  And there's so many lovely people I would never have met were it not for dancing, so many many friends...

All my reasons have been covered in what my friends said.  I don't think I could have put it any better than Freya's "moving meditation" or Lee's "Transendance" (I think I want that on a t-shirt).  There are moments when the music, your movement and your partner's movement all merge into one and it is like you have moved to a different plane.  I love all sorts of music and the feeling of being able to move my body to it is brilliant.  It doesn't even have to be a formal dance style, or with a partner.  I get a huge amount of joy from my random twirlings around the house - although nothing beats a great connected dance with a special partner.

Life is busy, sometimes stressful, but when I dance I can shut down that ticking, talking part of my brain.  While I might feel physically tired after a good dance session, I will often feel hugely mentally refreshed.

For a variety of reasons I never really did much physical activity as a kid or teenager.  So dance has had an enormous physical impact on me.  It has helped with my back issues, got me stronger and now the feeling of moving my body makes me feel great.

But the best thing about dance, is the people.  The wonderful, gorgeous, supportive people who enrich my life in so many ways.

Achy muscles - but the good kind

I danced hard last night.  3 hours of teaching, including one awesome but physically taxing dip, all done in yesterday's heat left me zonked by the end of class.  I got home, stretched, took a shower and fell into bed.

Today I could sure feel that class.  Muscles I haven't heard from for awhile were chiming in to say hello.  And achy as it might be, it is also a good feeling.  It is that acknowledgment from your body that you really got out there and worked, pushed those normally desk bound muscles hard.  Every twinge is a memory of dance and they are good memories.

Hmmm, more dancing tonight - bring it on!

Dancing

Yay, dance classes are back!

In 2004 at about this time of year I convinced two friends to come to a dance class with me and it proved to be a life changing action. Sometimes the decisions and actions that have the most profound effect on our lives are ones that we barely notice at the time. Like my year 8 form tutor suggesting I might like to try drama, an off hand comment which provided me with away to deal with my shyness and the tools on which I've built a career.

But back to dance. I had always wanted to learn to dance but thought you needed a partner to go to classes and even in that case, I thought I was too uncoordinated. A chance conversation at a Christmas party introduced me to the world of ceroc and when the new term started, I gathered my courage, rounded up a few friends and off we went. I would love to say I marched into the room, but it was nerves and trepidation that caused my friend to practically push me in the door. But once in that door it was love at first step and I haven't look back ever since - that is the dance lead's job!

Dance has given me fitness, better posture and presence. But more importantly it has given me the most truly wonderful group of friends who are now my family. My life has been made so much richer by the dance world, I can't find the words to adequately express what an impact it has had, but suffice it to say, I'm sure Terry who told me about ceroc, or Barbara who prompted him had no idea that one 5 minute conversation at a party could change the course of someone's life in such a significant way.

So I head to dance class tonight with an extra spring in my step, and the world's biggest smile on my face.

Dance like no-one is watching

I love to dance and I generally dance with partners. I also love music and have days worth on my iPod organised into playlists by mood. It is rare for me not to have music playing if I'm home and some days the music really speaks to me. I find myself dancing, swaying and spinning to the music, almost unconsciously by myself about my lounge room.

There is something almost indescribably about how good it feels to lose yourself in movement to the music. I cease to think about anything, except for how my body feels responding to the lifts, the lows, swells and hits in the music. I dance for the feeling, not for an audience, I dance in response to how the music makes me feel, I dance for me.

I feel as graceful as a ballarina who has trained her whole life. Goodness knows what I look like, it doesn't matter. It is the experience of being swept away, abandoning myself to the music.

Today has been a dance day, even in the course of writing this blog a couple of good songs have played and pulled me away from the computer. It is a joy that I hope to continue to experience my whole life. And now if you will excuse me, the music is playing and I need to dance to this song.

Skinny Mirrors

Do you remember that Seinfeld episode about skinny mirrors? They made out that they are terrible things, forcing Elaine to buy ugly dresses. Well my dance school has skinny mirrors and I think they are brilliant.

Ok, skinny mirrors in shops are a bit deceptive (one store in Canberra has fat mirrors which I consider a bit crazy and wonder if they realise) but skinny mirrors in a dance studio where you might not be feeling entirely confident are brilliant!

I'm not what you would describe as "big". Tall - yes, but reasonably slim, so looking in a mirror doesn't worry me, but I still love those mirrors. I find I get a little caught up in my suddenly slim frame. It is quite likely that if I was that skinny, my organs wouldn't fit in still, when I'm watching myself have an unco moment in class, at least I'm looking good while I do it!

Glorious gossip

I dance a few times a week. It is my hobby, my exercise and most of all a major centre of my social life.

Tonight I worked a little on a routine, had a social dance or two but didn't even come close to doing a class - I was too busy catching up on gossip. There is nothing like a good natter with your friends. We don't really gossip (well not that much) but we do chat. Tonight we discussed shoes, cocktails, refugee policy, costumes for an upcoming party, the law and criminal sentancing and what we had for dinner. It is no wonder I stay interested with such diverse conversation!

Anyway after long somewhat stressful day, it was a brilliant way to spend an evening.